I HEARD FROM HER

I heard from jody finllly .We had a bad falling out..she was the one person I let get close to me in years ...and than we had a big fight due to matters that were dumb I said stuff I did not mean she said stuff to..I was trying to push her away ..we got to the point I knew when something wass wrong with her she knew when something was wrong with me.....I miss her bad ..but we did talk a little last week..i need to realize not everyone is gnna hurt u ..u might push  eachother ..but in the end there there for u..so im gnn sit down and write her i need to get off my chest....

last week

Last week was so hard with Ellen..Im so tired of fighting her..she is so descrespectful and rude to everyone but her grandma...She even hits me screams in my face..everything my hands seem to be tied..I know she hates me..but what am I to do I love her ...she told me she wants her dad to be happy but not with me that about killed me..I love Rusyt so much...I live and breath for him and my babys...

I also have tried so hard with one of rustys sis it seems not to wrk so iI give ,,no Im not like his ex wife I wihs they let that go it was 9years ago..yes he was hurt badly by this woman and still gets hurt ..but Im not her I love rustyy with my whole hurt and soul how anyone could hurt this man I do not know he comes off grough but he is not..he is the biggest sweet heart..so there for Im gnna just not care she dont like me oh well her problem not mine.......

life

well things seem to be running smoothly this week..minus i forgot to pay garbage bill..oh well..there more picky than anything...this week  were staying home for news years..my sis inlaw will be over and doug....yup nice quiet nite.......

My new years resolution this year would be....got a couple of them..is one tell people how I really feel ..dont let people in my life or kids thatss gnna hurt us..im tired of it..not give a rip anymore what people think ..I know im a good mom and wife....do better job staying up with house ..take time for myself..loose 20lbs get into shape..idk..OH YEA AND MAKE MY MK BUZZZ GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kids and counseling`

They satart tuesday at 1pm..its time for my babys to get all out..sis is so scared right now I hope it waill all go well .....they well heal....fianlly just very scarry..for us..but it will all be great..

josh did it..

He fianlly told amy everything told amy about the kids..and what he did to me......Im happy

mememe

Marie was here all weekend it was so nice...I even got to feeel the lil squid moved I loved it...
 We just hanged out all weekend..did luandry....was a blast...so glad to have her abck in my life..we have been freinds sense we were 14yrs old..we have had our ups and downs...but as long as people leave us alone we do great..

hmm

Well had a long talk with ellen...she admit to it in one breath than the next denied it...im so tired...but she did admit she dont want me and her dad togther..rusty said tough shes my wife u will respect her and shes not going anywhere..i di in the beging try to be her freind..well cant do that have to be strict with her just like my kids..i hope things will get better..

my angels

The last few weeks my baby girl has been so angry //dont wann a go to school or anything...I couldnt figure what the heck..well she came out with it all last nite a few yearss ago she was abused by her uncle..he is in jail for it ....she has kept quiet for along timew well her step sister tells her he is ourt of jail and hes gnna get her...take her while shes at school...that he watches her while she sleep..my baby was so scared to ell me..so scared to go to schoo,,how can a 12 year old do this to a little girl wh ha suffered so much ..in her life she says has been hard ..her dad loves her so much...she is his whole life..so are my kids i wont let anyone hurt them anymore i cant ..if this contuines i wont make rustty choose i will leave........


I love rusty with everything inside me ..he and my kids are my life  this what i breath and live for..but i love hime so much i wont do this with his kid..if she gnna hurt him like this..i cant do this ..its one thing for her to do this to me..and hurt me but when she does it to my baby...i cant handel it..